For so long I was on the fence about the “first look.” For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about… let me start with a quick explanation. A “first look” is a time in which the bride and groom see each other privately, before the wedding ceremony takes place. It’s an intimate moment captured by the photographer, where the groom gets to see his future wife as a bride for the very first time. (Just thinking about them right now is making my eyes well up with tears) True story: they are some of the most beautiful, genuine moments I capture on wedding days.

I always used to say that whenever the day came for me to get married, I didn’t know if I wanted to do a first look. There is something so very special about the moment you walk down the aisle, and I never wanted that authentic reaction to be altered or changed by seeing my future husband before hand. I have always wanted my groom to bawl like a baby at the first sight of me walking down the aisle (no pressure or anything, Jesse) because honestly… who doesn’t want that?! After photographing so many weddings over the years, I now know exactly what I want for our wedding day. *Spoiler Alert* As a photographer AND bride… I would NEVER pass up the opportunity to do a first look.

So many brides are against them because they love traditions. (And believe me, as a small town girl from a little Dutch town, we really love our traditions! If this bride is you, I am right there with you!) From my experience, though, I’ve come to realize that even more than tradition, brides want a REACTION. They love the thought of their groom’s face, seeing them for the first time walking down the aisle. But what if your groom was really nervous? What if he was feeling the pressure from a room of 150 guests staring at him? And what if when you got to the front of the room, you were forced to only speak the words someone else was telling you to say? Or only touch when a pastor or officiant said it was ok to do so? Guess what… sometimes this is the reality of “traditional.”

Are all grooms nervous? Absolutely not! But do all of them feel comfortable or have the desire to cry in front of room full of people? Ehhhh, also rather unlikely. So let’s paint a new picture for your wedding day and see what you think of it…

Let’s say it’s the morning of your wedding day. You’re getting ready with all of your favorite people, enjoying the quality time with all your girls, and your groom is doing the exact same thing elsewhere. (Well, in reality, he’s probably out on the golf course with his groomsmen, planning to shower a mere 30 minutes before he needs to be ready…but you get the picture.) Rather than anxiously awaiting the ceremony’s arrival, you plan to meet at a private location beforehand. Just the two of you. Your photographer sets up your groom in the most beautiful, secluded area where he patiently awaits your arrival. You walk up from behind him. He turns around and sees you for the very first time as a bride, free to cry or smile or laugh however he’d like. Because it’s just him and his favorite person, the one he feels most comfortable being vulnerable or emotional with. Meanwhile, the photographer is capturing every single moment as it happens. You and your groom are free to talk, laugh and embrace each other. After all, it’s the first day of your forever and all of these moments deserve celebration!

Doesn’t that sound wonderful? I sure think so. In fact, I can’t wait to squeeze the heck out of Jesse and see his face light up when its just the two of us on our wedding day.

Now let me post a disclaimer before we move on: my couples are NEVER forced into doing a first look. I leave this choice up to the bride and groom! I used to be so hesitant to share my opinion about first looks, but now I have become so passionate about them, that I feel every bride and groom should know their options before simply writing any off. At the end of the day, I only want what is best for my couples. First looks are not for everyone, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t do a happy dance every single time my clients chose to do one!

Here are just a few of the benefits couples experience by choosing a first look:

 

1. A first look allows for 40% more bride and groom portraits.
Rather than saving all your portraits for after the wedding, by doing a first look you can capture posed shots before the ceremony even takes place. On top of these, you will still have the chance to capture those dreamy, golden-hour, husband & wife portraits later in the day. It’s a win, win. More portraits=more pictures in your album and photographs hanging on the walls of your first home together.

 

 

 

2. You actually get intimate time with your groom.
Normally, most people think that walking down the aisle is the biggest, most emotional moment of the day. What people don’t realize is that when you come down the aisle and totally shock him with your gorgeous-ness… he can’t even tell you how amazing you look. He can’t hug you or kiss you or even SPEAK to you, unless it’s the vows he’s reciting. After the thirty minute ceremony, his reaction isn’t the same as it would have been in that exact moment.

 

 

3. First looks allow you to extend your wedding day.
Believe it or not, a first look can extend your wedding day by almost three hours! In the traditional timeline, your wedding day truly begins when you walk down the aisle. Without a first look, you are often rushed into taking pictures from the time the ceremony ends to when the reception begins. Granted, you are surrounded with all the people who love you most, but there are very few moments involving JUST the two of you.

With the first look, you can capture bridal party pictures all before the ceremony. Doing these images beforehand allows you to actually enjoy taking them. There’s no frantic rush to simply check them off your wedding day shot list, AND you get to hang out with your best friends, together.

 

 

4. First looks allow you to be together AND alone on your wedding day.
Not only is this time intimate, it may be the ONLY time you get to be alone… during the WHOLE day. Being able to embrace each other and soak up each others’ gorgeousness puts you in the perfect mood for those romantic portraits that follow. Normally portraits are rushed after family formals and it can be a challenge to be back in that “lovey dove” mode. (Especially when your entire family is around!) When you just shared your first look, you’re ready to simply love on each other. I adore capturing all the sweet images during those moments!!

 

 

5. You get rid of SO many of the nerves by seeing each other before the ceremony.
Who is one person you want comforting you when you feel uneasy, nervous or anxious? I can almost bet that your best friend and future spouse ranks at the very top of that list. You have never experienced a wedding day before and you don’t know what it’s like preparing to say, “I do,” to the love of your life. This is a lifetime commitment between the two of you and God. No matter how sure you are about this life-altering decision, it can be seriously nerve racking on the day of. In my experience, couples have become far less nervous after seeing each other beforehand. By the time the ceremony rolls around, everyone is excited and ready to rock those vows out. (And trust me, when the music plays and you come walking down the aisle… the likelihood of you both being overcome with emotion all over again is extremely, extremely high)

 

At first, so many of my couples are hesitant to stray away from tradition and see each other before the wedding ceremony takes place. In full transparency, I have yet to meet a bride and groom who regret their decision of having a first look together. Seriously, not one. So with that being said, I hope you will at least consider the possibility for your own wedding day! 🙂 You only have ONE opportunity to get married. Take time to decide what works best for you and your fiancé… Are you a bride who loves tradition, or are you a bride who actually loves the idea of an amazing reaction?

I know exactly what kind of bride I am, y’all…. and just so you know, I can’t wait to marry the heck outta Jesse Bryerton next summer! 😉